Living Your Eulogy Virtues

Awhile back in our piece on Minimalism we touched on the topic of death. Inspired by John’s January newsletter reflections on the passing of both John Madden and Betty White, let’s take a moment to reflect on our own mortality.

After noting “be proactive” as habit #1, Steven Covey, author of the “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” suggests in his 2nd habit that we “begin with the ultimate end in mind.” The ultimate end being our funeral.

This advice is not new.

Seneca, the ancient Stoic, tells us something similar. He famously suggested that a helpful way to understand if we’re living in integrity with what we know to be true is to rehearse our death.

Enter the eulogy virtues.

Let’s flash forward to the future.

You walk into a funeral and realize it’s your funeral.

You see people there to celebrate you and your life. You take a seat and listen to the eulogies.

Who says what? What would your spouse or significant other say? Your kids? Your friends? Colleagues? Random people you may have helped at some point in life?

What qualities would they mention? And what virtues would you hope to be remembered for?

Your kindness? Your courage? Your generosity? Your commitment?

How would your life change if you embodied these qualities and began living in integrity with your virtues today?

 A Quick Trip to Hell

Now, imagine you’re sitting there listening to these eulogies and a door in the back of the room opens and someone walks in.

You turn around to see who it is. They look oddly familiar. They have a radiance and a confidence – a grounded power that’s palpable.

That astonishingly, radiantly alive person is you.

Well, technically, it’s who you could have become if you actually lived in integrity with what you knew to be true. Some would say meeting that version you, the person you could have become had you reached your potential, is hell.

Now pause.

Picture that awesome version of you.

What is one thing they do consistently that the current version of you doesn’t do consistently… yet?

Is today a good day to get started on that? 

New Year’s Resolutions

For the 50% of your that feel like Michael Scott, this may not be for you.

However, If you’re one of 31% of people planning to make a New Year’s resolution this year, or one of the 19% that are still undecided, now is a great time to reflect on the previous 11 (almost 12) months and begin setting some intentions for the year ahead.

Some New Year’s Resolution stats:

The most popular resolutions for 2021 are exercising more and improving fitness (50% of participants), losing weight (48%), saving money (44%), and improving diet (39%).

  • Of those who make a New Year’s resolution, after 1 week 75% are still successful in keeping it.
    • After two weeks, the number drops to 71%.
    • After 1 month, the number drops again to 64%.
    • After 6 months, 46% of people who make a resolution are still successful in keeping it.
    • After 1 year, 35% kept all their resolutions, 49% kept some of their resolutions, and only 16% failed at keeping any of their resolutions.

So, looking out to 2022, what are the steps you can take to increase the likelihood of being part of the 35% cohort that keeps all of their resolutions?

How to make (and keep!) your New Year’s Resolution

A recent NYT article by Jen Miller provides some helpful guidance on this topic:

“Your goals should be smart — and SMART. That’s an acronym coined in the journal Management Review in 1981 for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound. It may work for management, but it can also work in setting your resolutions, too.”

  • Your resolution should be absolutely clear. “Making a concrete goal is really important rather than just vaguely saying ‘I want to lose weight.’ You want to have a goal: How much weight do you want to lose and at what time interval?” said Katherine L. Milkman, an associate professor of operations information and decisions at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. “Five pounds in the next two months — that’s going to be more effective.”
  • This may seem obvious if your goal is a fitness or weight loss related one, but it’s also important if you’re trying to cut back on something, too. If, for example, you want to stop biting your nails, take pictures of your nails over time so you can track your progress in how those nails grow back out, said Jeffrey Gardere, a psychologist and professor at Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine. Logging progress into a journal or making notes on your phone or in an app designed to help you track behaviors can reinforce the progress, no matter what your resolution may be.
  • Achievable. This doesn’t mean that you can’t have big stretch goals. But trying to take too big a step too fast can leave you frustrated, or affect other areas of your life to the point that your resolution takes over your life — and both you and your friends and family flail. So, for example, resolving to save enough money to retire in five years when you’re 30 years old is probably not realistic, but saving an extra $100 a month may be. (And if that’s easy, you can slide that number up to an extra $200, $300 or $400 a month).
  • Relevant. Is this a goal that really matters to you, and are you making it for the right reasons? “If you do it out of the sense of self-hate or remorse or a strong passion in that moment, it doesn’t usually last long,” said Dr. Michael Bennett, a psychiatrist and co-author of two self-help books. “But if you build up a process where you’re thinking harder about what’s good for you, you’re changing the structure of your life, you’re bringing people into your life who will reinforce that resolution, then I think you have a fighting chance.”
  • Time-bound. Like “achievable,” the timeline toward reaching your goal should be realistic, too. That means giving yourself enough time to do it with lots of smaller intermediate goals set up along the way. “Focus on these small wins so you can make gradual progress,” Charles Duhigg, author of “The Power of Habit” and a former New York Times writer, said. “If you’re building a habit, you’re planning for the next decade, not the next couple of months.”

New Year’s resolutions not for you?

Consider setting some basic intentions.

11 ways to make the most of 2022 (written by Diego Perez, @yung_pueblo):

  1. let yourself change
  2. make rest a high priority
  3. say no without feeling bad
  4. stop jumping to conclusions
  5. do not rush important things
  6. build your own idea of success
  7. make more time for key friends
  8. appreciate the small steps forward
  9. stay aligned with your highest goals
  10. take the risk when your intuition says yes
  11. build with people who are open to growth

Godspeed and good luck.

End of Year Planning

Some end-of-year housekeeping and planning strategies to close out the year on a good note:

Review your portfolio:

  • with upcoming transitions in mind. Are allocation changes needed to begin preparing for an upcoming milestone (i.e. retirement) or transition (i.e. job change, relocation etc.)?
  • for (in)appropriate risk. Has your risk tolerance or risk capacity (i.e. how much risk you can take without interrupting other goals/priorities) changed? Can you now take on more/less risk?
  • for rebalancing opportunities. Is your portfolio properly allocated based on a target model? Or has your overall allocation drifted due to outsized gains/losses?
  • for gain/loss harvesting. If you invest in a taxable brokerage account, and depending on your tax bracket, there may be opportunities to realize additional capital gains (while in a lower tax) bracket or offset capital gains with losses.

Required Minimum Distributions (RMD)

  • What they are: The minimum amount that must be withdrawn from pre-tax retirement accounts annually once reaching age 72. This does not apply to post-tax Roth IRAs.
  • Inherited IRAs: Have their own rules.
  • Deadline: All RMDs must be taken by December 31st.

Contribute to a Roth or Traditional IRA

  • Roth IRAs: Contributions grow tax-free and qualified distributions come out tax free. Income limitations apply.
  • Traditional IRA: Contributions may be fully, partially, or non-deductible, depending on your income and circumstances.
  • Annual contribution limit (per person): For 2020, 2021, and 2022 is $6,000, or $7,000 if you’re age 50 or older. This limit applies to all IRAs. Example: An individual could fund a Roth IRA with $6k, or fund a traditional IRA with $6k, or fund each with $3k. You (or your spouse) must have taxable income in order to make a contribution.
  • Deadline: You can make 2021 IRA contributions until April 15, 2022.
  • Backdoor Roth: Depending on your circumstances, and for those who exceed the contribution/deduction income limits, you may be eligible to make a “backdoor” Roth contribution. Read more about it here and be sure to do it under the guidance of your financial planner and/or tax advisor.
  • Roth Conversions: If you are currently in a low tax bracket and expect your tax bracket to increase in future years, you may consider converting some pre-tax funds to your post-tax Roth. Essentially, paying taxes now so that your retirement funds can grow tax-free into the future. Deadline: 12/31/2021.

Charitable Donations

  • Deadline: All 2021 cash/non-cash donations must be completed by December 31st.
  • Deduction: Those that do not itemize their taxes can still deduct donations: up to $300 for single filers and $600 for joint filers.
  • Donor Advised Funds: Gifting appreciated stock to a Donor Advised Fund avoids recognizing capital gains and potentially pre-funds future year gifting.
  • QCDs: If over age 70.5, you can avoid recognizing IRA RMD income by directing some/all of your distribution to go directly to charity via a Qualified Charitable Distribution.

All advice listed here is for informational purposes. Please consult your financial planner or tax advisor before implementing.